You work out of a Hotel?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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