his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
