you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
