they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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