I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
