The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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