I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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