Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize