right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
