what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
