Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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