HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
