It's Friday. Sex?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
