I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
