Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize