C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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