haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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