If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
His nipple licking is glorious
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