Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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