Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize