he thought i was a dude.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
