I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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