I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
soo... how was my night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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