yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
