you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
