I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
