and you said cock pushups were impossible
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
