We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
