just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
