If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize