Can i not drive my cunt home
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
