So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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