ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I deserve this hangover.
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