Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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