it's like iHOP with fire
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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