Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize