forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
