Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
