I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
