tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
