Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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