Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize