omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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