i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
