i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
