Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
