My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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