my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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