you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize