community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You did what with his pubic hair?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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