I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
