she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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