What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
wow bdsm is so cute
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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