need another drink. this is the easiest way
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
