Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
