If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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