i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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