Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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