living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
