8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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