She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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