Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
