I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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